5 years ago, I was scanning the internet and buying online courses on assertiveness.
I thought that people were walking all over me and that they didn’t respect me, and I wanted be able to stand up for myself (something I had never been able to do throughout my whole 24 years thus far!).
But what I eventually realised was that I was the problem; not them.
You see, I didn’t respect myself. I played into the belief that I would always be treated poorly by people, and so, that’s how people showed up in my life – to play the part I gave them!
What I began to understand through looking (and I mean really looking,) at myself, was that I wasn’t showing up authentically and in line with who I was, and I lacked the belief I needed to know I could make an impact and be heard without feeling the need to jam it down someone’s throat.
And so, the answer to my burning question “How can I become more assertive?” begged a new question; which was “How can I show up as the real me, embrace the real me, and inspire others to do the same?”
Believe it or not, once I began working on myself, stood proudly in my values, experience and expertise, and stopped playing in the shadows; my lack of assertiveness no longer became a problem. Instead of feeling disrespected or mistreated, I became a voice of wisdom, someone others could turn to for advice (if they wanted it), and someone who respected herself enough to remove herself from a negative situation!
And those online courses about assertiveness?
They are still sitting in my computer, and have remained unopened to this day!
What are you currently struggling with in your life?
I’m here and open to discussing it with you if you like :)