I battled with the decision to close my gym for a long time, always playing tug of war with what my head wanted (to keep the doors open) and what my heart wanted (to create space for what I truly loved).
Just last week, I looked back at my reflections and goals which I made for myself in January of 2019. In it, I discussed how I would juggle both my training career, and my speaking and writing career; and I realised that I had even managed to convince myself back then that it was possible, and that it was what I truly wanted.
But looking back at these words on the page, I recognised that even then, even the version of Zoe from twelve months ago, knew that this wasn’t true. Just reading it I knew this was a head decision.
And whilst the final decision I made to close the doors was quick, the lead up to that point wasn’t.
I felt like I was in a constant to-ing and fro-ing between what made sense, and what felt right.
But the thing is, we all have the answers to what we want deep from within, we just need to trust our own path ahead and know that while making a head decision may be easier, it doesn’t necessarily make us happier.
Sure, it may be a relief to settle on a final decision, but it won’t ease the pain and tension of what your heart truly wants.
And so, as I reflect on the past few months after announcing the closure of my studio, I realise how much my life has already changed.
While it would have made sense on paper to follow my head, I feel so grateful for taking the leap of faith and following my true passions.
Choosing my heart above all else has allowed me to truly embody where I am going, and who I want to be. And whilst I’m not there yet, I can rest easy each night knowing that I am doing what feels authentic and natural to me.